21 January 2008

What Joy?

Photo by Angie Hertlein

Jesus You're more than a friend
Jesus You're more than my heart could ever express
Your love and Your grace never fail me
Your merciful touch always heals me
You bring joy to my soul

The band introduced a new song last night -- Jeremy's Riddle's More Than A Friend [Follow link to MP3]

I needed to hear this song last night.

Especially the line about joy.

For its been absent from my heart for quite some time.

Spiritual joy, that is.

And then last night, right before we sang this song, as I was contemplating what the bread and the wine mean to me at this point in my life, I was thinking about the lack of spiritual joy in my heart. A feeling that I couldn't possibly describe to you; but yet a feeling whose loss is more real than life itself.

And I just asked Jesus: "Where is this joy that I once knew?"

And then said: "Please heal the parts of my heart that currently prevent me knowing it, or opening myself to this joy."

And just about then, Ben (our worship leader) asked us to join the band and this line about joy soon followed.

The tears began to cloud my vision as I saw the hand of Jesus reaching down to me.

And I remembered that His voice is usually not audible, at least for me. But that it speaks just as clearly regardless. For that I am thankful.

Today I begin the journey of recapturing that joy.

In fact, I'm gonna work on a painting I started as a gift to Ben and his wife almost a year ago, right after I ask the Lord what he would have me paint for them.

So know that whatever your soul craves today is within your reach.

You just need to stretch your hand out to Him.

And begin the healing process.


miller said...

Good news! i'm glad you found the pathway back to the joy you'd lost!

and i'm glad you reminded us that it's only a short reach away from us at any moment.

peace bro

and joy...

Ben said...

Troy, your post brought me to tears. Jesus is so precious. All we need is found in Him.

John 15:9-11
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

I'm praying for you and Angie.