30 March 2013

birth [the second time]

Tessa Soleil
March 2, 2013 @ 10:03pm
9lb. 9oz.  21 1/2 in.

I'm a bit late on this one, as our baby girl is now a month old!
Tessa's pregnancy was like the polar opposite of Tian's, at least from my perspective:
Very few pictures of Angie's growing belly.
Very little preparation, although I did go through my Bradley workbook with a fine tooth comb because I am the [birth] coach, after all.
No counting protein (so how was Tessa almost 1lb. heavier than Tian?)
No major baby items to research or purchase.
We didn't record, and I can't now recall, any of Angie's funny cravings.
And there are others I won't take the time to elaborate on in this forum.

I point all of this out not because I feel we were deficient in any way, but because I'm slowly learning that its simply just the natural progression of life. I sometimes get stuck in wanting to repeat those patterns, from my past. This has been a major hurdle to overcome in my spiritual life. Because my relationship with Christ looks different now with a wife and two kids than it did when I was single, I tend to dwell on all the ways its not the same, instead of focusing on deepening my relationship in the here and now. Father, keep my eyes focused on the here and now. May my past not be a stumbling block any longer.

And in some ways, my time with Tessa in this first month of her life has been about learning that. One of my favorite things to do is lay down on the couch beside her when she's napping -- face to face -- and just look into her face. I see her little lips move and quiver, her eye lids flutter and I hear her tiny breaths and little coos. They are simple reminders of another amazing design by our Creator God. She is a tangible reminder of God's goodness, His light, innocence and purity. To which Spirit then directs my thoughts to prayers for her life. For His protection over her. For purity. For a heart that is close to His. Tessa means harvester, and her mother and I have this sense she will come to harvest more than the veggies from our backyard garden. We declare that over her now. That she will truly reflect His light to others, just as the sun (soleil) shines light on the Earth. I love you, baby girl!

As an aside, there was at least one major similarity between the pregnancies...and it looked like me scooping (and cleaning) the cats' litter box for 9+ months! And somehow, this has now become my regular job?!?! The thing is, I don't mind one bit. I may grumble for the show of it, but really, it's okay with me. And my wife would happily take it back over. But I see it as a little way to serve her (at least until Tian is old enough to do it!). Sorry, Tessa, for hijacking your birth post to discuss kitty litter. But I suspect you won't mind -- I have a hunch you'll grow to love animals just like your mother. 

28 March 2013

"Repentance is primarily the recovery of the spirit of love."