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On The Verge Of Burn Out
I'm tired. I'm tired of thinking, and planning, and then thinking more. I'm tired of trying to figure out whether I'm living out the purest form of Christianity. And I don't want to blog about this. And I'm not looking for any scholarly responses. Is it too much to ask the Lord to simply allow me to bask in his grace for a time? Like taking a vacation in grace? I guess you could say I'm on the verge of burn out.
In my humanness, I've considered several possibilities that would give me the rest I seek. Like resigning from various leadership positions I hold, switching churches just to get away from the expectations of those who know and love me, and avoiding certain blogs and discussions with people who unwillingly "force" me to engage in such excercises.
And just when I'm about to give in to my human nature (and put into action some plan that I'll later regret), I'm reminded of God's call on my life, which is not my own. Most of the time, that takes the form of God speaking to me through encouragement from a close friend. Something like the following: "I am learning to lean into the the pain in my soul so that it can do its work of change, of death, of renewal. Anyways, don't give up. He is raising the dead in all of us."
So here's to sticking it out...Here's to good friends...Here's to a great God...Here's to bravery!
5 comments:
from the chronicles of riddick...
"put on a clean pair of panties and get out there!"
i think i need to tatoo that on my forehead.
press on!
Troy,
I worried that your reading of my blog was part of your mental struggle. I apologize if my venting and ranting caused you any trouble. I think I've let most of the steam out, and the intensity of the fire is decreased.
I've been through burnout. It's not a good place to be. Try to get some balance in your life. Take time out to rest. You don't necessarily have to quit, but you may need to learn to say no once in a while.
I quit when I was burnt. I said no to everything for a long time. Since that time I have learned to say no some of the time. It's much better that way.
God bless you.
Anonymous:
I appreciate your concern, but please don't carry that burden for me. Paraphrasing Radiohead: "I do it to myself." And in all honesty, the blog part of my post was in actuality the least of my concerns. Oh...and thanks for the advice -- I think that is what the Lord is leading me toward. In fact, our call, more than anything else, is one of balance.
And Miller:
Thru the magic of the "administrative delete," your comments are no longer. I always hated the fact that on blogspot you can't remove your own comments you've posted to someone else's blog. It just doesn't seem right. So please, no more sheepishness!
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