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I'm so "addicted" to my nieces that I can't even wait to get home today and post pictures taken with an actual camera (as opposed to the one in my cell phone). I told a friend earlier today that, after spending some time with my family over Christmas, I was reminded that they are my greatest reminder of God's love for me here on this earth. What blessings He hath bestowed upon us.
This is my six-month old niece, Kiera. She is a beautiful reflection of the innocence and light that entered this World some 2,000 years ago with the birth of little baby boy who would one day save the World. Last night after all the commotion that occurs when opening gifts with your extended family (including four kids under the age of 6), I held Kiera in a quiet corner of the living room while she slept. As I often do when I get the chance to hold her, I just stared into her face. Tears streamed down my face as I lovingly observed her peaceful aura. It's heavenly! I can close my eyes right now and see her and feel all the emotions her presence drags from the depths of my heart.
A few minutes later she awoke, fussed a little and her mommy was quick to whisk her away into more comforting arms. And that's the way I like it -- as little crying as necessary, for all too soon, she too will face the darkness of this World. I guess my prayer is that just as the arms of her mommy will provide comfort during her infancy and childhood, the grown arms of that same baby boy will surround her and protect her at all times.
For my readers without a high-speed internet connection, I've included the words from Luke 2:8-14 (KJV), as proclaimed by Linus at the end of A Charlie Brown Christmas:
"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
Here are six songs, released this year, that are not only musically stunning, but have meant a great deal to me for various reasons. If you've enjoyed them as well, drop me a comment. As always, follow the link to the MP3. And grab them quick, the links are only good for 7 days. For more information on these artists, check their links on the sidebar under [Nu]Sounds.
Come on take me down
I had the pleasure of hearing the Hershey Symphony perform this past weekend, under the direction of Dr. Sandra Dackow. The highlight of the evening occurred when a stage full of strings performed Morten Lauridsen's O Magnum Mysterium. Nothing against the choral, brass, wind, or percussion sections, but there is just something magical about the simple beauty of a stage full of strings. The piece was beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that I fought to hold back tears through most of it. It spoke so abundantly of wonder!
So today, my friend tells me that it's normally performed as a choral piece, and that Dr. Dackow arranged the orchestral version. It was a crushing bit of news. The pain of knowing that I may never hear it again, in that form, nearly moved me to tears a second time. I fear that in every sense, it was truly a one-of-a-kind, perfect piece.
But here's the thing -- do you not see the flawed reasoning above? It seems quite foolish to hang my head in despair over losing the perfect piece. I mean, I should be searching for that next piece that'll move me even more. And the fact that I went into the evening not expecting to hear such a beautiful piece should speak to me of the hope that exists for the next symphony. But in my humanity, all I desire is to hear that piece over and over and over again. I guess I'd rather be comforted by something familiar, than risk finding it in something unknown.
All the answers, all the goldI'm feeling the pressure of being in the middle...of so many things. And it's due to feelings and anxieties I create inside of myself, not pressure from one side or another. It's something I do to myself when I remove God from the story of my life. It's like I unconsciously put on blinders and, all of the sudden, running away or choosing a side becomes so tempting.
And all that He really asks is that I trust Him...
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body."
Before he was able to say this:
"Tabitha, arise." [Acts 9:36-42]
He needed to ask this:
“Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” [Matthew 14:22-33]
And shout this:
“Save me, Lord!” [Matthew 14:22-33]
This tells me a lot about my own heart.
About my true desire to believe and the hope that underlies it.
About God's grace -- in the form of patience and understanding -- in the midst of my questions.
And, most importantly, about the power of Christ that resides in me.
This photo makes me smile.
It makes me happy.
And dare I say.....it fills me with joy.
And the thing is, you probably have to know a little bit about the subject -- Thom Yorke (frontman of Radiohead) -- to fully appreciate the sheer child-like joy that exudes from his face. I mean, even the fact that he's riding a bike, just speaks of that innocence of our childhoods. You see, its the tension of the paradox here that speaks the loudest, for there is nothing about Radiohead's music (or Thom's recent solo effort) that speaks of happiness or joy. His music is best described as hauntingly beautiful, melodic art-rock whose lyrics float around that invisible line drawn in our souls that says: "Oh my word...this is just too real, yet at the same time, so overwhelmingly foreign."
And it's a good place to be at certain times in our lives
But its certainly no place to live.
Time to lighten things up around here!
You'll notice that my niece, Kiera, is now styling her hair like me! She would like to thank her mommy for her impeccable sense of style. She's definitely the coolest 5-month old I know. I love you Kiera.
And I'd like to thank my stylist, Michelle, for her skillz on my hair. And yes, I have a "stylist." She's an artist folks -- but instead of brushes, paint and canvas, she uses scissors, water and hair.
Ed. Note: For more information than you ever wanted to know about the faux-hawk hairstyle, try this link. But be pre-warned, it's 5 minutes of your life that you'll never get back!!
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It occurs to me that some of the greatest acts Father God,
I desire so many things in life.
So many things that are not of You.
So many things that further chain me to the vices You died to free me from.
And I have no idea why.
None whatsoever.
For my only true desire is to simply trust in You for a life that defies the gray in every sense of that phrase.
Amen.
So I've been in the blogging game for a year and a day now. At some point in early-October I started to think about what I'd do for my one year post. A bunch of stupid self-promotion ideas ran thru my head, until my better senses kicked in. And then one day it just hit me, after reading the following comment a friend of mine recently left in response to my Complete & Utter Randomness post:
Hey, I think this is one of your best posts. You should write about yourself more often! I know I totally write sagas, but you finally really shared something about you! Something that you like and something about where you came from.
The irony of this comment lies in a little “secret” about my blog posts – nearly all of them are about me. Most people probably can’t understand how they relate to me emotionally, but they are all very intentional. From the words, to the pictures, to the songs – they all tell my story. In the truest sense, it is a diary of my emotional life.
And therein lies my greatest piece of art – shrouded in the mystery of my own emotional outpourings, my reader is able to see their life more clearly through their own emotional reaction to what I’ve published. It isn’t about figuring out what a post means to me, but rather, what it means to you. For my readers, I sincerely pray that reading my blog has never been about checking off another post, but a time when you can sit quietly before God and contemplate your own calling in this life.
May you hear His voice...
There's just something about this picture that resonates truth so strongly. But truth in a vacuum is not actual truth. Only when the author of truth enters the picture does truth become reality. 
Once I wanted to be the greatestI believe in Jesus.
Not because I've read about him in a book.
Not because I've heard others tell me amazing stories about his life.
And not even because he will grant me eternal life one day.
I believe in the power of prayer.
Not because I've read about it in a book.
Not because its done numerous times during a worship service.
And not even because it was modeled by Christ in the garden.
Sometimes I feel as if my life has been reduced to ironing and MP3s.
Okay...I'm being a bit dramatic, but I've been known to have such tendencies.
Anyway, Miller (and friends) are discussing the dilemma the church faces given the fact that our pastors are paid by those sitting in the pews -- an inherent conflict of interest, especially when our pastors actually work for God (and not the patrons of the church).
Besides a few thoughts I've offered on the subject, I've been thinking a lot about the very things I write about on this blog. It seems to me there was this point where I stopped writing for myself, and started writing for my audience. Or, more accurately, began thinking about it a lot more than I did when I first began. I'm approaching a year in the game now and have actually thought about giving it up for a while. But I have this fear that like the moment I make a decision like that, a million and one thoughts will like fly into my mind and I'll go nuts keeping the lid on.
I think the angst has something to do with the stuff I never write about because I figure no one will be interested. So I'm gonna remedy that situation right here and now. You know, like get it out of my system (and then move on)!
So back in my college days I used to be an underground party kid, or as the news media called us, a raver. Yes, those kind of raves -- with drugs, uni-sex bathrooms and lots of "freedom." But here's the thing -- I never went for any of that. I was there for the music and the dancing. It was always a spiritual thing for me in the sense that when your dripping with sweat, your heart's pounding at 180 beats per minute, the glo-sticks are floatin' and the bass of the techno is playing pong inside your head, there comes a certain amount of clarity that there is something much higher in this life.
Although I never entirely stopped listening to the music, the fact that I wasn't dancing and going to parties anymore attributed to a loss of appeal. But there are some guys in France that have like just been completely throwing down this amazing blend that is most commonly called dirty electro. Those "in the know" use words like "bangers" to describe such tracks and add that they will completely destroy the dancefloors, which innocently means it'll get the kids dancin! So I'll stop talking already and hit ya up with my two favorite "bangers" at the moment. See ya on the dancefloor.
Robbie Williams - Lovelight (Soulwax Ravelight Dub) [Follow link to MP3]
SebastiAn - Walkman [Follow link to MP3]
And if by some odd chance you actually like either of these tracks, drop me a comment or email and let me know. I'd be happy to point you to more of it.
Ed. Note: I'll be back to my (ab)normal self the next time I post. I promise.
Tonight I thank the Lord for revealing the darkness of my heart.
I thank Him for choosing not to remove it completely from my life.
I thank Him for letting me struggle with it on a number of different levels.
For Light is more appreciated in darkness.
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Currently Reading:
Story: Recapturing The Mystery
by Steven James
This is the story of God and His people told through narrative, poetry and scripture, all of which are intermixed perfectly, giving the reader the tools necessary to discover (or maybe rediscover) the beautiful mystery of our God.
Currently Listening To:
David Crowder Band . A Collision
I truly cannot say enough about this album. It's uber-creative and just offers such a fresh take on what modern worship music should be. And they hit every emotion on this album -- from the heights of Here Is Our King to the heartfelt contemplation that explodes to exuberance in Come Awake.
Current Life Quote:
"Painting is easy when you don't know how, but very difficult when you do." -Edgar Degas
I lost a bet the other week.
A friend beat me in a game of H-O-R-S-E.
So...I had to listen to country music for a week, whenever I was in my car (which is not a small feat, considering I spend about an hour commuting every day).
At times, it was rough. Like after a long day, instead of being greated by a long time friend like Thom Yorke (of Radiohead), I had to spend time with some strangers, whose experiences and realities are just so different than mine.
At times, I smiled. My dirty little secret is that I used to listen to country for about two years when I was in high school. So when a "classic" was played that I recognized, it took me back to those days. And yes, I was singing right along with the radio.
Overall, the week wasn't that bad. I even took home some pretty good life lessons that apply across the board -- regardless of your background...
[E]verything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
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Beck . The Information.0.jpg)
(As always, click pic to enlarge)
Tomorrow night marks the annual rising of the Harvest Moon.
innocence lost
Do something different this weekend....0.jpg)
My good friend Miller, the gifted visionary behind Toward Simplicity, is always coming up with innovative ways to shape and form us as children of the Living God. And, given the medium of the internet, especially in ways related to shaping us as an e-community. I'm a strong believer in this e-community vision, and I'm always looking for ways to boost participation therein.
His latest idea is full of potential and my prayer is that it'll take off and turn us into a stronger community, and, more importantly, bring healing to individuals and the body of Christ. It flows from the idea that sharing the stories of our suffering (and perhaps healing), will bring healing. So jump on over to Toward Simplicity and read more about this vision.
And then share your story.
I hope to share mine at some point.
Jacob's Dream
This past weekend I traveled 1,500 miles to meet this one guy I met thru blogging.
Going in, I wasn't sure we had a whole lot in common, but knew that we both shared a passion for living a life beyond the bounds of normalcy -- each in our own unique way.
We're just two guys searching for something higher.
Something that looks like "walking in the dust" of this one Jewish guy who lived on this earth some 2,000 years ago.
Our weekend together dripped with God.
Before I left, he gave me the first pocket-knife he ever bought for himself.
Told me that he had carried it for years, and skinned squirrels and other small game with it.
I'm not into hunting or anything, and despite my status as one trained in the law, I know very little about the Second Amendment.
But what I do know, beyond all doubt, is that when another man gives you his pocket-knife, it's a pretty big deal.
I felt so unworthy...like I was taking something from one of his sons or something.
But he would be the first to remind me that we are all undeserving recipients of grace -- every single day of our lives.
Not one drop of our blood has ever mixed, but we are certainly brothers locked together by the blood of Christ.
Blessings, Miller.
One of the things I always pray for is the opportunity, God willing, to come at last to see you. For I long to visit you so I can share a spiritual blessing with you that will help you grow strong in the Lord. I'm eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other.
This is a short film that a couple of friends helped to make as part of The 48 Hour Film Project in Baltimore, MD. As the name implies, they had 48 hours to write, film, score and edit the film. For those not familiar with the film-making process, this is an extraordinary feat. And the end result is well-worth the time it will take you to watch it. UPDATE: The film won two awards -- it tied for Best Cinamatography, as well as Production Design. It's a tale of two sisters who've come home to attend the presentation of a special award to their father. In a forced attempt to re-connect with each other and their childhood, they discover something important about themselves...and each other. The end result is a natural and mutual respect for the other, to which no words are necessary. It reminds me that it's always the things that come naturally in life that are the most rewarding to one's soul. In fact, "forcing" naturally implies a lack of respect for the other. Are you forcing anything in your life? Maybe it's time to reconsider your efforts. Step into the shoes of another, examine the situation from their point of view and then extend them the compassion that you'd expect to recieve. | |
...till it's gone.
So one of the great things I've always appreciated about my office is that the common walls are lined with artwork. Monet's, Picasso's, O'Keeffe's and Miro's, to name a few. Abstracts, landscapes, and stills. From impressionists to realists. It's truly a mini art gallery.
So today I walk in and they're all gone! Nothing but dirty white walls and empty picture-hangers. So stark. So uninviting. I truly feel empty. I miss them. The color they added. The inspiration they supplied. The fresh air they breathed.
Turns out the maintenance guys are painting next week, so there's no need to despair; as the artwork will certainly re-appear against freshly painted walls of white that should only serve to draw out the beauty of each piece of work even more so than before.
So what's my point? Why am I writing this? Well first, to point out the necessity of art in our lives. But more importantly, to encourage you to buy some artwork to fill the blank spaces on your walls (and in your heart). Or better yet, create your own.
I'll drown my beliefs
Mark Rothko
"I’m not an abstractionist. I’m not interested in the relationship of color or form or anything else. I’m interested only in expressing basic human emotions: tragedy, ecstasy, doom, and so on. The fact that people break down and cry when confronted with my pictures shows that I can communicate those basic human emotions...the people who weep before my pictures are having the same religious experience I had when painting them. And if you say you are moved only by their color relationships then you miss the point." ~Mark Rothko (1903-1970)
I'm feeling the weight today.
I've felt it before, but today is another story.
My prayer is for liteness of being.
Today I'm reminded of the blessing of true friends and a close-knit family.
For those of you who have touched my life...know that I'm grateful for the times in which you have made me laugh, shared a tear, sought out my advice, lifted my spirits, laid down your life for me, prayed for me, forgiven me, loved me, listened to me, silently taught me, pushed me to greater heights, corrected me, showed me perspective, spoke truth to me in love, trusted me, modeled Christ to me...
Seriously, words can't even begin to express the feelings these memories evoke in my inner spirit.
Most importantly, know that I'd do the same for you. Any time. Any place. Any circumstance.
Much love and respect...
Currently Reading:
Red Moon Rising: How 24-7 Prayer is Awakening a Generation
by Pete Greig & Dave Roberts
This is a story of God bringing his people across the globe back into true prayer by revealing His wonder therein. Highly Recommended.
Currently Listening To:
Thom Yorke . The Eraser
The Radiohead frontman briefly steps away from the band and puts together a nice collection of tracks. This is a minimal album (as far as instrumentation goes) that doesn't sound minimal. It's haunting, peaceful and beautiful. Harrowdown Hill is the highlight of the album.
Current Life Quote:
"Prayer itself is an art only the Holy Spirit can teach us. Pray for prayer. Pray until you can really pray." -C.H. Spurgeon
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